Parameters: You have one piece of lined paper to answer the prompt in a sober and drunk state of mind. You’re considered drunk when you believe it to be so. It’s encouraged to respond to the prompt while sober the day before you write it whilst drunk. Give it a day in between to forget what you wrote sober, and then let the good times roll.
Prompt: Where are you going in life?
Sober Response: 7/26/25
They were right when they said the only constant in life is change, damn them to hell. I’ve learned to at least attempt to embrace it, but that doesn’t mean I’m happy about it.
The latest change in my life has thrown me for a bit of a loop. I got a stable, full time job with benefits, and committed to settling in one city for at least a year. I do something I enjoy, and I get free lunch. Good life development, right?
It’s not that I’m not unhappy with this change, I’m just kinda confused.
Since highschool, I’ve been the lowkey fuck up friend, daughter, sister. Lowkey in the sense that you had to get close enough to me to see the storm beneath the surface.
I nearly didn’t graduate high school because of my poor attendance, dropped out of college to take a mental health leave, and eventually watched my friends graduate college after I’d failed another class due to simply not handing in my work.
This affected my identity at home. My brother was valedictorian, went to an ivy league school, and made the big bucks out of college. I don’t compete with my brother in my head, I’m happy if he’s happy. What subtly shook my self esteem was when my parents would randomly remind me if I were ever “in trouble”, my brother would take me in.
Once I made peace with myself after dropping out of college for a semester, I found freedom in feeling behind. I learned to enjoy the fuck up role, and even take pride in it. Some may read me calling myself a fuck up and roll their eyes. Others will read this and remember when they were worried I’d simply get by another day.
All I know is, in my head I considered myself a fuck up and a failure, and that made me feel like I had nothing to lose.
Yet now for the first time, I feel like I have something to lose. I feel like, according to society, I’m “on track”. And that makes me want to crawl out of my own skin.
I do feel lucky to have my job, a place to go, people to see, and money in the bank to support myself and that pesky type 1 diabetes I have. Maybe I can no longer justify being a fuck up to myself, but that doesn’t mean I want to stop acting like i have nothing to lose.
For now, I’ll clock in day in and day out. I’ll do my job, and I do like it. However, before 9am and after 5pm I’m going to keep writing, exploring, and searching for the freedom I felt as a fuck up, without having to feel like a failure.
Drunk Response: 7/27/25 2am
Currently, the fast track to nowhere. I’ve been working 9-5 like Dolly said, sure, but I very as well have been [unintelligible writing but I think I wrote something crude so fill in the blank for yourself as you please]
Live and Let Die Paul McCartney
RIP ozzy
It all comes day in and day out and night.
I’m surrounded by people right now and I’m not doing anything right now but I’m doin’ it.
Someone just ate a mustard sandwich because I put it into the drinking game. Aha! It’s the little things.
Donuts, driving in big, beautiful donuts, all day 9-5.
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